i hate to be alone recently.
lonely train rides, lonely walks back home.
i don't mind waiting hours just for someone to take the train with me.
awkwardness still fills the air.
it's hard, it's really hard.
can we be as close as we were before we started?
For now, sinking into a memory of one of the touches you stroked on me, I cannot remember the physical touch, but I can remember the delicacy of it.
-To Forget You, Low Kay Hwa.
true enough.
and i miss it.
every single things you do still affects me greatly.
even you calling my name, sends me to ecstasy.
she calls me stupid.
he tells me to move on.
but, i don't want to force myself to do something i know i can't.
i know it'll kill me to know that you have move on, from a girl to another.
i know it'll totally rips my heart into million of pieces knowing how happy you are with her, or even her.
what can i do when you're someone i love so much?
i can only love you till the day my heart tells me to stop.
she told me i'm too soft-hearted.
indeed, i am.
it hurts to look at you sitting alone by the side and being lonely.
it urges me to come to your side, hold your hands and tell you that no matter what, i will be there for you.
i know i can't do that anymore.
i'm in no position to do that and i'm not that someone that you hope it is.
i'm not her.
i wish i'm as important as her in your heart.
i wish you'll still hug me and tell me how much you love me and how much i mean to you.
i wish nothing had changed.
but nothing is going to happen anymore.
i'm on my own.
19:o7 - 26.o2.o9
Recent entries:
TWENTY20. - 22.08.20
i've moved, people.(: - o6.o9.o9
`hangaround, friends.(: - o4.o9.o9
`evil people don't deserve happiness. - 1o.o8.o9
`where is my needle? - o2.o8.o9
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