bad week, in conclusion.
lost my pillar of strength.
lost the pair of hands that will guide me through darkness.
lost the one that stands by me no matter what.
lost the one who cares for me the most.
lost the one who loves me the most.
and, i'm lost.
constant tears in the eyes.
occasionally heart wrenching pain.
i let someone i love dearly slipped out of my fingers.
when things happened and you lost someone you treasured so dearly, you realize, it's not his fault for leaving.
but all along, it's you, who are subconsciously pushing him away.
you asked for more and you never get contented.
he pampered you, doted on you and gave in to you no matter how wrong you are.
you took everything for granted.
you're blind to his sacrifices, you're blind to his care & concern and you're blind to his constant assurance.
you assume what you think and think that you're always the right one.
said things that are insensitive and even i knew i was wrong, i can't lay down my stupid ego, my stupid pride and give in.
selfish, spoilt, unreasonable.
i let them took control and in the end, it's over.
why do people always realize how much they have lost when things go utterly wrong?
i wish someone could have slap me earlier and wake me up, telling me what i have done wrong.
you're the first one i ever love so dearly.
you're the first one that i'm proud to have.
i gave you all the love i have and i'm not regretting one bit.
and neither am i regretting giving all my FIRSTs to you.
i'll get used to the emptiness of my right hand.
get used to the loneliness of places we walked hand in hand before.
get used to watching movie that will always feel empty on the left.
get used to warming up myself when it gets too cold, cause no one will pass his passion to you anymore.
get used to not having someone to care for.
get used to having no one to walk you home in the windy night.
get used to not having someone accompanying you for a movie when the movie you wanted to watch is out.
get used to having no one to watch out if you've let others on a "free show".
get used to the lonely escalators.
get used to the lonely train rides.
get used to not having someone to bicker with.
get used to not worrying about someone lazing around in bed and get himself late.
get used to not seeing someone wearing only boxer walking around the house.
get used to not having someone beside you no matter what.
get used to having no one to share your life with.
as for now, i'll treat you as a friend like i told you i would.
i'll be right here, 24/7, giving you a shoulder to lean on if thing goes wrong.
pat your back when something good happens.
listen to you when you need to rant.
i'll always be there for you, not as a girlfriend anymore, but as your best friend!(:
10:40am - 17.o1.o9
Recent entries:
TWENTY20. - 22.08.20
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